as long as we don't do a sing-a-long

In addition to bringing flowers, wire cutters, and pumpkins for our "grave sprucing" duties this past weekend.   I also brought chairs.  One lawn chair that my dad used to sit in when he cleaned his clubs and shoes after each and every round of golf, and one chair I got at Augusta National in 2003.  Reflecting chairs.  It's nice to have a spot where you can sit down and take a load off when you might be engaged in some nose-blowing and eye-wiping.    

There might be a prettier place to be buried than where Ray and Angie are... but lordy, I can't see how.  Those firey red and orange trees with the smattering of yellow and green for contrast was breathtaking.  Seriously. 

Building some rituals into the process of grieving was a good idea Dottie.  Making a regular pilgrimage and doing some simple things feels very comforting.  I don't know that it still will in five or ten or even fifteen years, but it does right now.   

I don't know what we might add to the ritual building next year.  I do know there will be chairs, and stories, a drive by the old house, and the after cemetery trip to Neighbors Mill for lunch.   The key to a good ritual is in it's simplicity as well as it's meaning.  Next year I may have to bring a recording of Placido Domingo singing "Blue Spanish Eyes" for mom and Willie Nelson singing "On the Road Again" for dad.   I feel quite certain that everyone at the cemetery will enjoy those selections.  As long as we don't do a sing-a-long.  Unless everyone there wants to.  In which case, it might be nice.  

Comments

[Anne]

My father loved Sinatra's Spanish Eyes and used to sing it at the top of his lungs. I had forgotten that. Thanks, Carol. Just downloaded from iTunes.

[Diana]

This post is sweet and comforting. What a lovely place, too.

[Joyce]

This written piece resonates with love, ritual, and glorifies LIFE. Thanks for the heartwarming share. XxOo

[Loretta]

Very lovely ritual. Though the music, definitely would start me ugly bawling. xxooxx

[Janet Ghio]

Bring that music next year-I'm sure Angie and Ray will love it--but be sure to bring a few extra hankies.

[jacki long]

My cousins in Indiana have a Beatty day. None have the name Beatty anymore, but it's a regular holiday when weather permits. It includes bringing flowers from their gardens, breakfast at Bob Evans to get caught up and plan the route, and stops at three cemeteries to place flowers, and spend a little time. When I am there from CA, I get to tag along. Otherwise, they let me know when they go, and I picture it all, vividly.
Thanks Carol, your family's love is a beautiful thing to share.

[Joan]

Rituals are a comfort in and of themselves. Traditions are family memories concentrated into an event that makes for lots of laughter and tears, just as it should be.

Sharing this memory making time is so sweet of you. We can all feel the love that resonates with this Moss family. The addition of music is so special, and do have the sing along at the top of your voices!

[barbara]

Love this post. It gave me goosebumps. A beautiful resting place for Angie and Ray. Their headstone is beautiful as well. During my Idaho trip last month, we visited my Dad's grave for the first time since the funeral and the headstone placement. Just us girls went, Mom, me and Sister. Tears and laughter. Rituals are so important aren't they? I love hearing about Moss family traditions.

[Maureen]

A lovely post Carol. Makes me wish I was going to be buried amidst those gorgeous trees but I'm an organ donor. I guess that means I do stand a chance at getting some part of me under autumn leaves some day.

But if you think a singalong just could, maybe, be possible, then think big...line dancing with women of Chinese descent in Texas. http://youtu.be/Z6vk8ZgSNTs

I suspect anything is possible for the Moss family.

[Jane B.]

Agreed with poster Maureen; sending love.

[Amy at love made my home]

You inspire me so very much Carol. I am sure that Angie would be so very happy with your visit this weekend. It is funny, I never really think of AR as a beautiful place, but that is coloured by my own memories. I am seeing the beauty now through your eyes. xx

[Judy H.]

Lovely Ozarks. Lovely ritual. Lovely post.

[Linda Watson]

Beautiful. I think a sing-along would be perfect. How about a pre-agreed upon time, and we in other parts of the country can join you, celebrating our own loved ones who are "on the road again." By the way, that was my dad's favorite too.