Tall Tales from Kansas

she can't remember anything that happened before 1990

Remember when you were young, and around the holidays when there was baking to be done, your mom used to say "ok you kids, I need some nuts shelled for the brownies/cookies/cakes," and you all rolled up your sleeves and got down to business?  Remember that?

How about Christmas morning when there were always nuts (in the shell) and an apple and an orange in your stocking, and maybe a few pieces of candy.   Those were the days when no household was without a functional nutcracker and some picks.

I happen to have the original Moss family nutcracker and pick set.   Angie said I could have it because I was the best nutcracker of all the Moss kids. 

I sure was glad I knew right where my tools were when this arrived in my Christmas package from Dottie. 

As you can see I have not lost my touch.  I had the best time cracking these nuts and eating them.   I don't recall when we were first able to buy shelled nuts in the store.  I feel like it had to be after 1970.  When I was discussing it with Mary Ann and Dottie,  Mary Ann said it was 1990.   She can't remember anything that happened before 1990 though, so her opinion on the matter doesn't count. 

When I looked it up online I found that the first "shelling machine" was made in the 1920's but I couldn't find anything about when they became available in grocery stores.   I intend to continue my search tonight as I try to stay awake to see the confetti explosion in Times Square at midnight.  BUT if any of you happen to be an expert in the history of nuts I won't mind if you enlighten me here.  In case my search is fruitless.

things that can never be understood simply on the basis of the ingredients

Pumpkin-pecan cinnamon rolls with browned butter icing were on the breakfast menu again this year over the holidays. 

For me, making pumpkin-pecan cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning is certainly about the warm, sweet, buttery, frosted treat at the end.  But more than that, it's about the smell of the yeast, it's the elastic feel of the dough in my hands, it's using moms rolling pin and Pat's sifter, it's remembering who was here last year when we ate them and wondering who might be here next year. It's about the spode christmas plates they are served on.   It's about drinking a cup of coffee while I wait for the dough to rise. 

It's about the idea of a cinnamon roll.  The feeling of a cinnamon roll.   Kind of like Alice's sugar cookies in the round needlework holiday tin, or Aunt Lois's biscuits mixed by hand on the countertop, or Chris's shrimp pasta.  These are things that can never be understood simply on the basis of the ingredients.  

You know that saying "the whole is greater than the sum of the parts it's made of" ?    I am pretty sure the person who came up with that was referring to cinnamon rolls.  Cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning probably. 

PSPPR

Yes, I know it's after Christmas.  I can't help it.  I am still deep into my part time seasonal work with the forestry service.   The creation, care, and tending of pint sized pines.  What follows is the pint sized pine progress report (PSPPR).  Told as briefly as possible.

First there was one.

 

 Then there were two.

Number two left the house so I had to make another number two because number one was lonely.

 Then I decided an odd number was needed so now there are three.

Correction - there were three.  Until I decided I should try to make a snowy-white pint sized pine.

And just when I thought I might have it worked out of my system, I realized I have this remnant of green yarn that won't be good for one single thing other than a green tree.

So once the emerald-green pine comes off the assembly line,  I will turn in my resignation to the forestry service and shut down the pine making factory. 

Maybe I will go into the Santa carving business.   Just to even out the tree to Santa ratio.

Somehow I think learning to carve a Santa might be harder than knitting a tree.   I'll probably put that off until next year.  Give myself some time to ponder over it.   

If you missed it the first time, the link to the pint sized pine pattern is below.

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while drinking hot chocolate to stay warm

the butter police

One of the best things about the holidays are the discussions that come up around the dinner table and over appetizers.  

Like this year when Andrea admonished Bryce for buttering his ham and he told her there were no butter police in the area to stop him.  Then she told him that in fact there were butter police and she was going to turn him in.  Which prompted Chris to get out a business card and tell Bryce that he was actually a special agent in the butter division of the police department.  Bryce took the card, carefully examined it, handed it back to Chris, and informed him - "there are no B's anywhere on that card so that can't be true".  

a collective 4 thumbs up

With 4 days left in 2014 Chris and I went to see movie # 11 for the year.  If you like Meryl Streep,  fairy tales, and musicals, you are going to love this.

I thought it was clever and entertaining with excellent performances and a fine bit of casting.  I especially liked little red reding hood (Lilla Crawford) and it was an unexpected treat to see Christine Baranski and Tracy Ullman.  

Two thumbs up from both Chris and I.  That's a collective 4 thumbs up.  

nice way to start Boxers Day

As I was getting ready to start a load of laundry this morning, I looked out the window and saw this beautiful golden pink color creeping across the sky to the east.  Having my priorities straight, I threw down the dirty clothes, threw on a jacket, grabbed the camera, and raced out the door.

I heard a rooster crowing as I walked back home.   Nice way to start Boxers Day wouldn't you say? 

the head elf in charge of rubbing the feet of all the tired cooks

Feliz Navidad!  Wishing each and every one of you the wonder and joy that is the spirit of this season. 

May all your dreams come true - including the one where at the end of the day after all your guests have gone home, there is a knock at the door and the head elf in charge of rubbing the feet of all the tired cooks and dishwashers announces that he is ready to begin your one hour reflexology session. 

Photo credit:  Chris Mulvenon

a lovely shade of terra cotta

Because you really can not have too much of the color red, ruby, cherry, garnet, claret, coral, fuschia, rose, or any other variation on that theme at this time of year, I present a study in reds. 

I am thinking of painting the dining room a lovely shade of terra cotta, but am holding off until after the holidays to see if the urge passes.   

so good you could just open up a can of pinto beans to go with

If you are contemplating whipping up a big pot of soup or stew in the week between Christmas and New Years, I implore you to make these.

I have tried many cornbread recipes over the years, my favorite being a southern style cooked in a cast iron skillet.  But sticking to only one kind of cornbread would be like restricting yourself to only one kind of regular bread your whole life.  In other words, a completely ridiculous idea.

These "really good savory corn muffins" live up to their name.  I love the dense texture and solid corn flavor.  I even made this batch with gluten free flour and was amazed that they came out just perfect.   

These are so good you could open up a can of pinto beans to go with them and tell everyone dinner is served.   But do go ahead and make chili if you prefer.  Recipe below.  Brother?  Are you reading this?  YOU will want to make these. 

56 years and lots of handling later

December 1958, in a little house on Wilder Avenue in Honolulu Hawaii.  This was the Moss family before Mary Ann and I came along.  Mom was pregnant with me in this picture.  On that Christmas tree are what I have always called the "Hawaii Christmas Bells" - just because that's where they came from. 

56 years and lots of handling later, those bells from Hawaii are still going strong. 

They have survived all of us kids and every cat we ever had, including Lewis and Clark who really put them to the test.   Those bells were their favorite ornaments to swat at as they wandered by the tree innocently.  

The best part about having a Christmas tree is sitting down and staring at it, after it's decorated, while you sip a glass of wine, and remember all the stories that each ornament holds. 

tilting of the earth, thermal inertia, and arabian nights mix

Today is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year.  For those of us hanging out north of the equator anyway.  

I am going to be honest here and tell you that I get the tilting of the earth and the whole thermal inertia thing that defines our seasons on earth but there is really only one calculation that I am deeply interested in.  

It's the one where we begin to add another minute of daylight to each day beginning on the 27th of December.  So if I have done this correctly that means that on February 25th it should still be light while I am driving home from work.  

In the meantime I am doing lots of things to keep my mind off the cloudy, gray conditions outside.   Things that involve baking and fabric and yarn.   Oh and the Christmas tree is all decked out and ready for the family dinner on Monday night. 

I am calling this holiday pillow "candy cane".  I think it goes very nicely with the other pillow that sort of looks like a piece of arabian nights mix.  

They don't make Arabian nights mix candy anymore by the way.  Chris called the company and they told him no one was buying it.  He is writing up a proposal to bring it back.  If you want to sign the petition let me know and I will send it your way.  I am not sure how many signatures they want to see before they fire up the assembly lines and go back into production.  I think it's ok to sign for all your children, any toys that they have that have names, and your pets. 

there will not be a pillow numero tres

I am well pleased with holiday pillow numero uno.  I sorta, kinda, followed a pattern but not really.  Using all the techniques I learned from making my summer quilt (which is still on the bed by the way, so I guess it's really a summer/winter quilt), I was able to make it all somehow come out ok. 

Initially my plan was to put a plain white, uncovered pillow form in the other chair on the porch. A "snow" pillow if you will.  But I had so much fun making the first one that I have started pillow numero dos.  There will not be a pillow numero tres.  I only have two chairs on the porch.  As of right now anyway.  

while drinking hot chocolate to stay warm

Before I could start sewing the binding on my holiday pillow tonight I had to take a break to knit a tree.  Not just any tree.  A "pint sized pine" tree.  

Tomorrow, when I am home, sitting on the front porch, trying out my holiday pillow, while drinking hot chocolate to stay warm, I am going to take a better photo of this tree so you can see how unbelievably cute it really is.  In the meantime, if you feel the need to knit yourself a pine forest too, the instructions are at simplynotable.com.   Mary, my knitting advisor sent me a link to the site, so if you find yourself wasting hours over there - blame her, not me!

and I mean it

With 7 days left until Christmas, after a long day of work, while Chris made turkey sandwiches and tomato soup for supper, I decided it was imperative to start working on the holiday pillows for the front porch.  

I decided to pick up a book when I bought the fabric last week.  Just in case I need to look something up and the internet crashes and I can't watch a video on pillow making.   Besides, it has instructions on making pillow cases and maybe tomorrow night I will whip up a set of those for a last minute gift.  Oh wait, tomorrow night I am addressing cards.  And I mean it.  Really. 

it meets all our specifications

Because I need a break from hanging my assigned 15 ornaments tonight, and because I knew you were wondering if I had accomplished this assignment, and because it's supposed to snow/sleet tomorrow and I need this reminder of what is coming....

I present to you my selection for Palm Springs Art Retreat 2015.

It meets all our specifications.  And then some. 

the only thing these candy cane corns are good for

In case you are like me (and Chris)...

... and can't tell by the label that these red, white, and green "candy corn" taste like mint,

... I will tell you they do.  It was an entirely unpleasant experience when I popped one of these in my mouth expecting it to taste like a regular candy corn.

The only thing these candy cane corns are good for is taking to work and putting in the communal candy dish.  Which I made Chris do, since he is the one that brought them home knowing full well that we have already exceeded our 2 bag limit for the year. 

fifteen ornaments a day for the next seven days

In the last week or so I have joined the shoulder seams of the aran wrap using the three needle bind off, finished listening to/reading 2 books,  kitchener stitched the toe seam of one sock, started another sock, took out a snow man and put it on a shelf, photographed the sun tonight when it appeared for the first time in days for a total of about 5 minutes, and only then, when I could not think of one more reason to put it off...

... I started to decorate the tree. 

I got about 15 ornaments artfully placed before I needed to rest.  There is no sense in putting them up hastily and having to go back and shift them around.  Fifteen ornaments a day for the next 7 days plus the 15 that are aleady up there means by the time people come over here next Monday for dinner there will be 120 ornaments on the tree.  More than enough to be considered a respectable showing. 

it was on my list

Today was the holiday farmers market in Lawrence.   My absolute favorite things there were the fresh wreaths.   I wasn't planning to buy wreaths, but when I walked by them on the way to the poinsettia's my plans changed.   Fresh greenery = instant trip down Christmas memory lane.

Ornaments, jams, wind-chimes, hats, scarves, honey, peanut brittle, lavendar sachets, stick horses, apples, baked goods, eggs, gourds, sweet potatoes, and garlands.  It was all there. 

People were having fun.  Taking their time.  Surveying the goods carefully.  Looking for just the right gift for the people on their lists. 

I bought a poinsettia.  It was on my list.  Merry Christmas to me. 

that is no flapdoodle

The quails celebrated Christmas in high style this week.  French cuisine was on the menu.  Sigh.  There was wine and cheese and butternut squash soup and an amazing grouper and I haven't even started on dessert.

We took the whole concept of "making merry" and bumped it up a few notches and that is no *flapdoodle.

*I loved the Word of the Day so much today I HAD to use it in a sentence. 
 

when calculating the amount of time and tape you will need to get your wrapping done

Today I proceeded to gather, wrap, box, and mail most of the Christmas presents that need to go over the river and through the woods to those that are far away. 

I am fairly certain my family will not notice that I only "wrapped" the top of the boxes and that I used old Christmas cards as "labels". 

By getting to the post office before the 12th of December I think I may have set the bar too high.  This is my way of saying - don't expect it ever to happen again.   In future years, know that I will return to my usual slovenly pattern of late gifts and cards.  

I also learned an important lesson.   You will want to know this.  It's similar to the pythagorean theorum except instead of triangles and a hypotenuse it deals with time, tape, and wrapping.   When calculating the amount of time and tape you will need to get your wrapping done, always add 1 additional hour and 1 extra roll of tape.   No matter how much "cushion" you build into the process ALWAYS adjust to my specifications. 

You are welcome.  I hope you find this useful. 

my approach to life and gingerbread house construction

Every holiday season I get an idea that maybe this will be the year I make a gingerbread house.   In my mind it seems like it would go so well.  The gingerbread would be sturdy.  The icing would dry hard.  The candy would stay exactly where I place it.  You get the idea.  The house might look something like one of these.

When I look at all of them I think my favorite is the last one.  I could never show that much restraint though.  If I am going to make a gingerbread house there are going to have to be some gumdrops, cookies, sweet tarts, kisses, marshmallows, pretzels, peppermints, ice cream cones, Mike & Ike's, life savers, twizzlers, and plain old sugar cubes.  My approach to life and gingerbread house construction leans more to the go big or go home philosophy, than the keep it simple principle.  

All photos taken at the Gingerbread House auction in Lawrence last weekend. 

your blackberry jam jar has become a permanent part of my collection

I have been remiss in not making even one single solitary batch of baked pumpkin steel cut oatmeal yet this year.  

I am mentioning it here, and have included a link to the recipe above, in case you haven't made any either. 

It's important that I prepare all the recipes in my pumpkin repertoire at least once every year between October and January.

All I have remaining are the pumpkin cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning and Barb's pumpkin roll which I might save for New Years.   In the meantime I'll just be right here eating this oatmeal for breakfast for the next 7 days.  Unless that is, I decide to have it for both breakfast and lunch one day.   It's good enough that you might want to.   

P.S.  Sharron - did you notice that your blackberry jam jar has become a permanent part of my collection?

these 2 creatures who were looking for a tree to hang on

Two of my favorite places to go in Kansas City are Hammerpress and Paper Source.  I have long bemoaned the fact that we don't have a place like that right here in Lawrence.  Clearly someone has been reading my mind.  Last week at knitting class Cindy mentioned a new paper/card store downtown and my ears perked up.  I found it on Saturday.  Oh joy. 

They have cards and bags and all manner of things you need.  Plus papers and notepads and twine on cool spools. 

I was delighted to find the latest Uppercase magazine at the counter.  I brought it home along with these 2 creatures who were looking for a tree to hang on.   There might have been some paper and a few other necessities as well.   Lawrence needs a store like this, and I want the proprieters to know, in no uncertain terms, that I will be doing my part to support it. 

things you can learn when trying to take a picture

Saturday morning I got up early to go and take pictures of the Christmas lights in downtown Lawrence.  In order to get good pictures of Christmas lights, it has to be a little bit light and a little bit dark.  This is a very fleeting time frame.  One must be armed and at the ready.  I left the house at 6:45 and was parking on Massachusetts street at 7am. 

The cars were lined up on both sides of the street already in preparation for the annual old fashioned parade.  Who knew there was so much activity downtown at 7am on the weekend?  Not me.  There were people in restaurants ordering breakfast.

I came upon a group of women getting in their morning run.   It sounded like they were having fun.  I wanted to ask them if I could join them but then I remembered I have bad knees and it's best for me to stick to walking. 

By 7:20am the sky was lightening up. 

Did you know that barber shops are open at 7am?  And that men are getting their hair cut at that ungodly hour of the morning? 

The things you can learn when trying to take a picture.  Of Christmas lights.  In December.  Between 0700 and 0732 am. 

it might be a holiday bib

Last year at this time Mary Ann was here and we were playing "peas porridge hot" with Angie.

I look at these pictures with such mixed emotions.  Wishing mom could be here so we could have one good afternoon together.  Glad she is gone, that she is not anxious and worrying about what she should be doing, unable to rest, missing her old apartment.  

Today I coped by buying a $5.00 bouquet and some eggnog at the store when I stopped for milk.

Angie loved eggnog.  When I got home I made a pot of coffee, got out the mug I always served mom her coffee in ("just a small cup Carol"), and had myself some coffee with eggnog by the fire.

Coffee with eggnog runs about neck and neck to a hot buttered rum in the "soothing and making you feel better" home remedy book.  I recommend it highly.  After about 3 cups I started to try and guess what might be in the box I got in the mail last night.  It's for Christmas.  From my brother.  I do NOT open presents early.  I enjoy the guessing as much as the opening.  It's very light and does not rattle at all when shaken.  I am thinking it might be a holiday bib.  Something festive to take to take to all my holiday parties so I can stay neat while I attempt to simultaneously nibble on hors d'oeuvres, hold on to my wine glass, stand up for hours in pointy-toed shoes, and be charming and witty.    

P.S.  Brother do NOT tell me if I guess right. 

in my elf outfit singing "jingle bell rock" somewhere in the vicinity of 8th and Massachussetts

The windows in downtown Lawrence are getting all gussied up for the holidays.   If you live in a town (instead of a city) you know the magic that is main street at Christmas time. 

If you are in the neighborhood, you must stop by and experience it for yourself.    I'll just be here in my elf outfit singing "jingle bell rock" somewhere in the vicinity of 8th and Massachussetts.   I will understand if you pretend you don't know me. 

a whole family of those green potato head creatures

Bizarre Bazaar was this past weekend here in Lawrence.  A more organized Lawrence blogger would have told you it was coming ahead of time so you could plan accordingly and arrange your schedule to attend.  I'll do my best to remind you in advance next year. 

I go to check out the amazing assortment of arts and crafts, but I enjoy listening to the music and watching everyone get into the holiday spirit as much as I do getting some shopping done. 

Gift buying is more fun when you are supporting local artists.   

P.S.  if you are a member of my family, I am in consultation with Fed-Ex to determine the best way to ship hedge apples.  Every single one of you is getting a whole family of those green potato head creatures featured in photo collage #2.  I knew you would appreciate them. 

it's been a problem my whole life

The other day as I was driving by a book store in Kansas City, my car veered off the road and I was compelled to go in.  It's been too long since I have been inside the haven that is a local independent bookstore.   Getting books from the library, or buying them on-line is so easy that I have forgotten what a wonderful experience it is to wander around a bookstore. 

I love the "virtual exploration" of books as much as the next guy, and getting a free sample on a reader is great.  But there is something about the smell of a bookstore, and the way that books are grouped in unexpected ways that just can't be beat.   I had so much fun in the one in Kansas City that I went to two more in Lawrence when I got back to town. 

I made extremely good use of my time during these explorations.  I found one book I have been planning to buy, 2 that were on my "must check out" list, and one I had to pick up (and ultimately purchase) because of the cool cover.  I have been sitting in front of this pile running my hands over the covers and the pages.  Do you do that too?  I like to see with my hands.  It's been a problem my whole life. 

The same day I came home with my 4 new books I also got "Can't we Talk About Something More Pleasant?" in the mail from my friend Joyce.  I feel like a queen surrounded by luxury!  Reading by the fire is on the agenda for the upcoming cold months.  My neatly typed book reports will be coming shortly.   

hitting the trails in lawrence

This past weekend we had two beautiful warm days in the upper 50's which made it impossible for me not to get in a little walking on some of the new trails in Lawrence.   I have said it before, and for sure I will say it again, but seriously ... Kansas really is beautiful.  And I don't just mean the fields of sunflowers, the amazing sunsets, and the produce from the farmers markets. 

All these photos are from the trails at Rock Chalk park.  Thanks to Jan for telling me about them AND giving me a map.  When you come to Lawrence to check out all the great restaurants and coffee shops be sure to throw your walking shoes in the back of your car so you can see these fabulous blue skies for yourself.