so her brother, who was far away, could hear his mom's last breaths

Ask any nurse, in any area of practice (ICU, labor & delivery, oncology, pediatrics, etc...) and they will tell you they see a lot of things in their line of work.  Good, bad, hard, sad, sweet, and sometimes funny.  This week at work I saw something I had never seen before.  Something that really touched me. 

Our palliative care team was consulted to see a patient who was no longer responsive, and was dying imminently.  Specifically, we were asked to help with ensuring she was comfortable. 

The patient's daughter was at the bedside and told us what had been going on with her mom over the last 36 hours.   She described a rapid decline that made us think the patient likely had hours to perhaps a few days to live.  I think I have mentioned before, in previous posts on end of life care, how very difficult it is to prognosticate with great accuracy how much time someone has left.  For this patient, we changed medications, reviewed with the daughter what was being done and why, and gave them some time alone.

When we came back about an hour later, the patient appeared more comfortable, and her daughter agreed.  Then suddenly the patients breathing pattern changed and we told her it appeared her mother was dying now.  She took out her phone and called her brother, telling him "I want you to be part of this too, they say she is dying now".  She held the phone to her mothers ear so her brother could tell his mom he loved her.  Then she took the phone back and I could hear him tell his sister something.  He wanted to hear her breathing.  She again held the phone up, this time to her mothers mouth so her brother, who was far away, could hear his mom's last breaths.  In that simple gesture he became present.  

I have seen family members ask to speak to patients who are no longer responsive before.  I have never had anyone ask to hear a loved one's breathing.  It was an exquisitely tender moment.  One I will be thinking about for some time to come. 

Comments

[Susan Bjerke]

I've one sister who's a Hospice nurse, the other a nurse who teaches kidney transplant patients. I've heard many touching stories of their patients, but I'm most pleased to hear your story. That listening makes dying more seem bearable.

[Chris Oliveira]

Beautiful story.

[Linda Watson]

My mother, who passed in 2003, used to say, "Death is beauty not yet used."

[Sharron Carleton]

Wonderful story, thanks ..,

[Alison]

Sending you hugs Carol. I heard that deep breathing in 2011 when my sister passed away from brain cancer. I'll never forget it. Thank you for sharing

[Sharon Johnson]

Oh my. Thank you.

[Olivia]

Thanks for sharing such a poignant story.

[Joan]

Very moving and tender.

Most of my knitter friends are nurses, 2 are retired, 3 still working in the field. Oh, the stories they have told us over the years. Some make us sad, some make us laugh, some make us cry, some touch us deeply, like yours did today. The whole gamut of human emotions is covered. Thanks for telling us this sweet/sad story.

[Jet Hesselink]

So beautiful, thank you for sharing this story.

[Judy H.]

Oh, my God. So moving. :(

[Amy at love made my home]

I wish you were over here Carol, as I know that we are going to need someone like you in the nearer to not so near future, you are amazing. So is this lady and her brother and their mother.