the direct flight with no lay-overs in any kind of nursing facility

This month, at an annual check in with my primary care doctor, we spent time talking about my advanced directive.  I want her to be fully aware of my preferences for care, if I have some kind of devastating injury or am diagnosed with a serious illness and can't tell her myself.  Chris and Dottie (the people I have asked to serve as my DPOA's for medical decision making) already know how I feel, and so do all the people on the team that I work with, but because some find my wishes unorthodox, I wanted to have the conversation with my primary care provider in addition to her having a document.  

Those of you who are long time blog readers will be familiar with the phrase "I want the first ticket I am handed".  It is an easy way for me to tell people that:

1. I know I am going to die of something - we are all getting "a ticket" out of here when our number is up
2. My highest goal is to avoid prolonged debility (being unable to care for myself)
3. I am totally ok with giving up the possibility (and even the likelihood) of more time on earth to avoid what I believe would be the suffering of dependency
4. If I can die suddenly as a result of an accident while I am in my prime, and totally functional, so much the better

In other words, if I am gravely injured or ill, and likely to die as a result of my injuries BUT my family is told there are things that can be done that might SAVE me, go ahead and let me go.  I have been around enough intensive care units to know that the things that can be done to save me may also leave me in a less functional state or with some kind of cognitive disability.  Even if the physicians tell Chris and Dottie "there is a greater than 50% chance she will be just fine" - No. Thank. You.  I want the first ticket I am handed.  I'd just as soon die now, if I am already half the way there, rather than be saved and have to go through it all again later.  

This can be a hard concept for people to get.  Why would I not want things to be done that could save me?  I have seen people lose the ability to care for themselves and do not choose this for myself.  In the conversation with my primary care doctor, I could see the light go on and clear understanding occur when I used the phrases "I want the first ticket I am handed" and "I'd also like the direct flight with no lay-overs in any kind of nursing facility".   

Simple analogy is a wonderful tool.  Especially for difficult conversations.  

Comments

[Sharon Walworth]

Just starting to make the plans and decisions to which you refer, I find today's "message" to be extremely helpful. I have printed it out and added it to my growing pile of notes, research, etc. Thanks!!!!!!

[Beth Leintz]

Carol, Thanks for sharing this. As I get older, I've had more experiences with being close to people who have died- which is no surprise, but it's also made me think about what would be the best way for me to die. I've kind of come to the same conclusion as you, but I've not shared it with anyone for fear of sounding morbid or ungrateful for medical advances. You've articulated it very well.

[Alison]

Brave. Scary. Wise...hmmmm, I need to chew on this a whole lot more. Thanks for sharing Carol. Luv ya!

[jacki long]

I agree, now to get it down on paper and known. Tanks Carol, I have procrastinated long enough.

[robin cox walsh]

Amen! I'm with you 100%! Just let me go.....

[jeanette sclar]

Thank you for your service! And I do not mean that tongue-in-cheek! It's a great service to every reader- if nothing else it should prompt consideration of one's own wishes!

[carol]

Thanks to all for reading and adding your comments and perspectives.

[Debbie]

Thank you!!! I have the same feelings and need to make sure everyone knows my wishes.

[Michelle]

THANK YOU