new "old" memories to talk about

I had mixed thoughts tonight about sharing details on a blog about our annual ritual of visiting mom and dad's graves.  It is private, personal, and still painful in ways, and yet... it is such a part of each of us and I love that we do it every year.  

We always start with the easy part.  Cleaning, trimming, taking out the old flowers, arranging the new.  Each person has a job.

And we always take a whole bunch of pictures.

Just because your parents are no longer with you, is no reason not to still include some part of them in pictures.  

Each year there are new "old" memories to talk about.  It's funny how we each have similar and different recollections about growing up and about Ray and Angie when they were sick.   

There are plenty of tears, as well as laughs, and in the end I think we all feel a little less heavy.  This year we brought our putters so Dad could put a little luck on them.  And there was a special rock direct from Lummi Island that Mary Ann wanted mom to have. 

Who knows how many years of this we will have left.  What I do know is that each year I feel myself able to talk about more things. And I feel incredibly lucky to have people I can do this with.  

So in the end, I decided sharing this was the right thing to do.  Because I think it's healthy to have rituals like this.  AND it's important to talk about death and how we help each other through it.  

 

Comments

[jacki long]

Wonderful, Carol! I agree, totally. It may sound silly, but I miss Angie too, even if only through your words and pictures. Thank you for including us.

[Emie]

I agree with Jacki.... you brought Angie to life on on your blog and I got to know her. I find I miss the "ordinary" things the most when remembering people who have passed. Thanks for sharing... Family rituals and traditions are an important part of life.

[Vicki in Michigan]

Thank you, Carol.

[Chris oliveira]

Thanks for sharing it, Carol.

[Maureen]

We talk about a birth so why wouldn’t we talk about death/the dead. Later this month I’m going to visit my parents who died when I was 28 & 31. Long long ago.

[barbara]

Carol, I enjoy going along on your trips to visit Ray and Angie. So touching and funny! We do these type of rituals at Mom & Dad's graves too. I suppose everyone does. I always wish I could write about them as
eloquently as you do. The graves look lovely with the fall foliage.

[Loretta Marvel]

Thank you for bringing us along. My family does not do this, though both my parents are buried only a few blocks from most of us. It becomes overwhelming as we age to go to the cemetery and visit the plots of each side of the families and its offshoots. More under the ground than above now.

Question - did you notice the two interesting glowing "spots" in two of your pics- looks like Angie is keeping on eye on all of you!

[Judy H.]

Lovely. xo