to spread her quilt over her in the last hour of her life

This week at the hospital I spied some especially lovely handiwork in the rooms of a few of the patients I was seeing.

Quilting and love of fabric art is an immediate way to connect with people.  It lets us know we have a common language.  I bonded well with the woman who made these quilts during our very first visit.  She knew when she told me to be honest with her about what she was hoping for, and I told her I would, I meant it.  We had good talks during the week I knew her.  About what was possible, what was likely, what her family would need as her body was shutting down.  And we talked with her family when she not able to talk, about where was the best place for her to be if she could not be at home. Which is what they really wanted to make happen for her.

This quilter took matters into her own hands, as is often the case.  Early one morning this past week she died.  While her daughter and husband were on the way to the hospital.  It was a gift for me to be able to be there with her.  To spread her quilt over her in the last hour of her life.  To be sure her mouth was moist and her hair was combed.  To make sure she was not suffering, to whisper that her family was on the way, and wanted her to know they loved her, and lastly to let her know I would be sure to tell them how peaceful she was as she was dying.  

Dottie sent me this poem by Saint John of the Cross last week.  

And I saw the river
over which every soul
must pass
to reach the kingdom
of heaven
and the name of that river 
was suffering:
and I saw a boat
which carries souls
across the river
and the name of that boat
was love.  

I am not sure at all about the concept of heaven.  What I am certain of, is that the most important skill you need when you are with someone who is dying is just to care.  I was not with Angie in the last moments when she was dying. You have no idea how much I loved paying forward the caring that another woman showed my mom.  

Comments

[jacki long]

So beautiful Carol, thanks so much for sharing inevitable moments with us. This touched me deeply.

[Chrissy]

I wish everyone could have their own Carol by their bed on the final day. Thank you.

[Janet]

Don't even have words...

[Chris oliveira]

❤️

[Joan Coats]

You are a gift, Carol.

Joan

[Maureen]

This is most certainly the most beautiful piece of writing I'll read all day. Thank you.

[robin cox walsh]

You simply amaze me. How lucky they are to have you at their side in the last moments......♥♥♥♥♥

[Loretta Marvel]

You write so naturally and poignantly about your ministry, for truly it is a ministry. As others have said, I hope everyone can have a Carol by their side as they cross the river.

[Olivia]

Thank you so much for sharing such a poignant and thoughtful post.
Thank Dottie too, for sharing the perfect poem.
To the both of you.💕

[Steve and Janelle]

Thank you for writing this most powerful post.

[Judy H.]

Beautiful. <3

[Beth Leintz]

I second what others have said, such a moving post. You are a gift to all those you care for. Thank you for sharing bits of that gift with us.

[Michelle]

Tears here ... Thank you Carol. xo