it is not our job to make decisions for people

 

This Saturday and Sunday I did my turn at "weekend duty" at the hospital.  I met 3 new people with brain tumors and their "families".  One of them was able to get home Monday. Her friend from high school is going to take care of her with hospice support. She likely has weeks to maybe a month to live.  Another of the three died very quickly overnight Saturday. His daughter from up north and son from down south flew in and were able to see him before he died. The last man is likely going to a hospice house here in town tomorrow. To a less "medicalized" setting, where his family can still be with him while he gets the intense care his symptoms require. He has days to live at the most. Three separate plans for 3 different situations with 3 very similar disease processes happening. I could just as easily have had a patient who elected (even after hearing we thought she had weeks to perhaps a month to live) to keep doing "everything". Things like trying to get stronger with therapy, procedures like drains and tubes, continuing to get lab work drawn and x-rays done, going to the ICU if needed.

These kinds of days are not uncommon in the palliative care world. I tell you about this to illustrate the point that it is not our job to made decisions for people. It IS our job to listen to what they want and try to figure out a good plan that best meets their needs - while giving them time to come to terms with what is happening. We take none of it lightly. Sometimes upon entering a room, we can literally feel people recoil from us. I even had a patient tell me once that we were the "you're dead" people. Do I sometimes disagree with choices people make? You bet. Do I say that out loud? Nope. Do I try to make sure people understand exactly what is involved in their choices no matter what they choose? Absolutely. My goals when I enter a room are to do my best to inform people about all their options, to listen and provide support, to convey that I care, and to make sure symptoms are well controlled to the greatest extent possible. This is what palliative care is.

Comments

[Susan Bjerke]

Thank you for your work and compassion!

[Joan Coats]

You are THE role model for palliative care. You make a difference in this world.I worked with organ donation for many years. Analogous concepts as you wrote in your blog. Thank you, Carol...... for you.

[Chris oliveira]

I’m glad you are also good at feeding your soul, because you have a job that could drain your spiritual energy if you let it. You are so right for your work.

[jacki long]

Thank God for you and your fellow angels.

[carol]

Thank you all for your kind comments. There is much confusion out there about the differences between hospice and palliative care. Among the general public as well as with health care providers. I appreciate you all reading and helping spread the word.
Carol

[natural scarf]

writing is very impressive. I will share this in my own country.

If you want to browse my site I'm writing the link
www.naturalscarf.com Thank you

[Judy H.]

Such hard, but important work. Thank you, Carol, for making a difference.